Importance of Friendships – Will They Last Forever?

As soon as we hear the word friendship, the first thing that’ll come to our mind is not our friends but the memories we had with our friends. Those memories are so special that we can feel even now as fresh as they happened yesterday.

They may not be with you now, they may not be in contact with you now, they may not be close with you now. No matter how many “they may not” you add, they once were your best friends who made a strong footprint in your life in such a way that you can’t resist thinking about that stupid even while you are reading this.

Choosing the Right One

Lately, with the advancing technology and social media, the Importance of friendships is losing its value. The term ‘friends’ is being used for everyone without partiality. We need to be partial in this. You cannot call everyone your friend. You will not call everyone your boyfriend and girlfriend. Will you?. Then how fair it is to call someone your friends just because they talked to you for some time. We have other names for it. Colleague, classmate, etc etc.

Not everyone deserves to be called like that. Those who deserve YOU are the only one who deserves to be called as a friend. That word itself is bliss like the word “love”. Even the word love is being misused by a lot. There will be a separate blog for that (stay tuned).

(Where was I?. Yeah. Friends are those who deserve you)

Is there any difference between a good friend and a bad friend?. It’s there. Not in terms of a good and bad person. But in terms of what you think is good and bad to you. No one is good and no one is bad. If someone has some values which do not equal to ours, then we will not be comfortable around them. That is it. Just a perception. It differs from one person to another.

Inner circle

Anyway, choosing them wisely can change your life nicely (Horrible rhyming, adjust). Some of us can proudly say, “You know what?. I don’t judge people. I accept them as they are“. That’s a great attitude, boss. Keep it up. You don’t need to judge everyone you are talking to. But you need to judge people when you are letting them into your inner circle. We all do whether you accept it or not.

Talk to everyone. Learn from everyone. But when it comes to giving and spending your time, you must respect your time as well as theirs. Each minute you spend with them is equal to each minute you are giving them to change you. There goes a great quote “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are”. Believe it or not, good friends can change your life. Don’t trust me. Click on the link below to know more about it.
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190520-how-your-friends-change-your-habits—for-better-and-worse

Coming back to the inner circle. Once you let them in, it is highly recommended to go back to your cool attitude of “Not judging them”. Because when you let them inside, they are called friends. so judge however you want when they are outside that circle, but once they are in, Be a friend, not a judge.

What Is the Definition of a Friend?

There is no definition of a friend. If you searching for one, replace the word “friend” with the name of your friend. It’ll fit perfectly. We always have this misconception that friendship won’t last long. Once we become busy with our life, our friends will become busy with their life. We often will not consider the first part but we know the second part by heart. True, right?. When we are busy we will not think about our friends, but when they are busy, we want them to think about us. No wonder why it’s a misconception.

We also say, when new friends come in, old friends go out. When a new relationship comes in, old friendship fades out. Is that so?. I don’t think so. Maybe they would’ve been busy building their new relationship believing that “I’ve already built a strong one” with (you) who will understand what I’m going through right now. It’s a possibility. I’m not here to say friendship is better than a relationship. And a relationship is better than friendship. I’m just saying both are beautiful feelings that need to be cherished separately.

Acceptance

Do you know why some friendship lasts longer than others?. Trust?. Love?. To me, it’s acceptance. As I said before, you can judge whatever you want. But once you let them in, then it means you are ready to tolerate, adjust, accept and you have the high responsibility as a friend to correct their wrongs to rights.

Here is where most of us fail to understand one thing,

They are YOUR friends. They are not YOURS

Read that again. We often try to own people either knowingly or unknowingly with the tag “MINE“. It may sound great but when we take it deep into our heart, that’s where it starts to break our heart because we know they are not ours. You have the responsibility to say whether or what they do is right or wrong. But when you expect them to accept what you say, that’s where things go wrong.

Importance of Friendships

Friendship creates a bond between two or more people. It is not BOND between you and them as if, “stick with each other for a certain period and once the time-lapse, That’s it. Done”. No. It is beyond that. Your bond was so strong that it helped you to cross one phase of your life which you have no idea of how it’ll be like, without them. You cannot apply this to 3 months or 6 months of so-called friendship. It is for the bonds that are created and sculpted for years.

If something good happens in my life, I’ll share it with them. If something bad happens in my life, I share it with them. Sharing with those who understand you will give you ease. And their single word “It’s gonna be okay” will clear the block in your mind. A single call in six months is enough. Meeting once a year is enough. And being in touch and knowing that they are doing fine is more than enough.

Be your friend

If they are not answering the phone or if they couldn’t meet you for certain reasons, then think of what they would say if you ask or say it to them. Think of what they’ll do if they’re in your position. Mark my word. If your bond is strong, You’ll get the answer from yourself. That’s all a good friendship need.

But if my definition of friendship is based on whether they are with me during my good time and in my bad times, then of course I’ll not have a single friend in my life.  More than your friend, they are human beings. They have their own lives, own dreams & own problems. And you have the same too. Only when we rely on each other, the process of maintaining a friendship becomes a little more complicated. Friends are there to support you when you go for support. But expecting them to solve your problem, is not fair.

Accept the situation they are in. Accept the fact that we all grow up and we all have responsibilities. In the same way, don’t ignore the fact that being in touch and being happy for one another for their achievements and success is also a beautiful part of friendship as same as being with each other. When there is a gap, it not only makes one to forget them, it’ll also create a path to fill it with memories to cherish them, which can make it even more stronger if you believe it does.

Will It Last Forever ?

I will not say, “Friendship lasts forever, Till the end. It’ll never change. I guarantee that”. No. I will not give you false hopes. It WILL diminish. The time you used to spend with them WILL diminish.

But the time you’ve spent with them WILL NEVER diminish. The bond remains. The memory remains. The friendship remains. Try to change the narrative to “True friendship remains“. When you meet them after so many years and If you can speak and feel the same about your best friends, if it makes you forget the years that you’ve not been in touch, if it makes you go back to your awesome times, then, that’s what I’m calling it as friendship . That’s the importance of friendships.

Don’t bring self-respect into this. Not with your best friends. Where did that self-respect go when they teased you?. Where did that self-respect go when you grabbed their lunch box and dumped it all in one gulp?. Where that self-respect go when you both shamelessly cheated and got punished in the exam. Self-respect?. Seriously? With those stupids?. Come on. Wake up. Just grab your phone and call through whatever you are reading this and talk as if they are by your side by keeping your self-respect aside. Just see how it feels. And thank me later.

I’ll end this by sharing one of the favorite writing of mine.

One day I said to my friend,
Let me be honest. See, I don’t know whether I can be with you all the time. Sometimes I wish to but I cannot do. I can’t give you false hope by saying I’ll be with you during a hard time. Because it’s not ME that changes. The situation changes ME. I don’t know where I will be. I don’t know how I will be. I don’t know with whom I’ll be. But do you know what binds us together?. Whenever I am stuck in some problems and whenever I feel like drowning or giving up, you come to my mind. I’ll be like “If she was here, she would not give up”. “if she was here, she would have seen the things differently”. “If she was here, she’ll not complain about it”. She is my best friend. So if she can then I can too. And I think that is the magical thing about friendship. Even though you are not present, I can feel your presence. Even though you are invisible to others, you are visible to me. That is friendship to me. In that case, I’ll always be there for you.

Always!!

keerthana